


I’m not good enough

by losersclaia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Comfort, Hugs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:51:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12247356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losersclaia/pseuds/losersclaia
Summary: Jace think he's not good enough to be Simon's boyfriend.





	I’m not good enough

**Author's Note:**

> big shout out to my beta AnnCherie !! ( sunjimon on tumblr)

Jace came into the institute soaked in demon's blood. It had been a hard mission and had taken forever even with Izzy and Alec by his side. At some point all he saw was blood and all he heard was evil demon sounds.  
Sometimes between slaughtering demons he thought about Simon. Before he knew Simon he was known as the fearless warrior and now the whole institute said Simon had thawed his cold heart and made him know fear. 

It wasn't a lie. 

Jace got scared every time he got hurt on a mission, not because he could die, but because Simon would be hurt if Jace was dead. 

With every single cut and broken bone he could see Simon's worried face and hear the 'I love you be safe' he always tells him before he goes on the mission. Then Jace kisses his forehead and leaves him alone in his room. Simon always waits at his bed till Jace is back. Sometimes he's back after two hours untouched and they just hang out and sometimes Jace is back at 5am with broken arm and dirty clothes and Simon is already sleeping curled on his bed.  
  
Some might say Simon is Jace's weakness but Jace thinks of him as his armor. He met vampire at his darkest days and he kept him alive. Now when Jace is on a missions he doesn't actually want to die.  
When Jace came into his room he knew Simon would be there like always. He was probably asleep in one of Jace's t-shirts.  
So when he walked into the room there was no surprise that Simon was sleeping, but this time it was different. He was wearing a shirt with sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He had a black tie and elegant shoes were standing above the bed frame.  
Next to Simon's sleeping body there was a little piece of paper and a gift bag. The shadowhunter came closer and took the note. 

Hi babe!  
Happy 2nd Anniversary!! Work had to be hard today, so no worries you'll make it up to me next year. I'm not mad. There's a little present for you to show you how much I love you. It's not much but I still hope you'll like it.  
xoxo Simon ( your vampire boyfriend ) 

He had forgotten. He had fucking forgotten. How the fuck could he forget the second time?  
  
Jace was never perfect. He was never the kind of guy to be nice and polite. He never asked people out on dates, he did one night stands. He never loved, he just felt desire. He never even imagined he'd ever care about someone enough to say "I love you" to them but then Simon had come around and with him produced Jace's first 'I love you'.  
  
Simon had taken him on his first rollercoaster ride and stayed with him after when he was puking his guts out.  
He made Jace watch Star Wars and he even went to one of those conventions with him dressed in matching costumes.  
Jace had never felt more alive as when he was with Simon. He brightened up his entire world and made the horrible place a bit more bearable.  
  
And now… The only time Jace actually cared about someone he fucked it up. Of course you could forget about a date once or twice because you're busy with work but he had forgotten about 30 times (if not more) and an anniversary was the most important day in relationship and Jace forgot not once but twice.  
Despite all of this Simon is still with him.  
  
Simon Lewis is the damn definition of perfect.  
  
Perfect son for his mother. When he brought Jace home she was so worried about a weird tattoo covered guy but Simon took her aside for conversation and since then she loved Jace. She invited them for dinners and things like family weddings. Jace felt like he belonged to the mundane-vampire family.  
  
It doesn't stop there though. Simon's also the perfect grandson for his poor and sick grandma. When she broke her leg he moved to her place just to be there for her and help her as much as he could. He bought her flowers every time he visited (sometimes with his blonde boyfriend that granny seemed to really like).  
  
He was also the perfect friend. He was always there no matter what for Clary, Maia, Izzy, Magnus and even Alec. He had the best advice and he could listen to anyone for hours without getting bored.  
  
He was even a perfect neighbour that brought a fucking cake to new people in the block he barely lives in anyway as he stays at Jace's all the time.  
  
Jace was still shocked that he's in a relationship with such an amazing person when he’s the worst person he can think of. He doesn't deserve Simon, who's too pure and amazing to waste his time in Jace's rotten feelings.  
  
Jace looked at the gift bag again and took it in his hands. It was medium size. He took out an album with "For Jace, all the memories that we share need to be kept not forgotten’' written on a cover.  
He sat at the edge of the bed and started looking at photos. He looked at every single one for a few minutes, reminding himself of the memories. All of them were good. Even the picture taken after the rollercoaster ride brought a smile to his face.  
  
When a tear dropped on the picture of them with Simon's granny’s kittens Stella and Raja he realises how fucking bad of a person he is.  
Suddenly he feels a tight grip on his shoulder. He looks back at Simon's sleepy face with a sad smile.  
  
“Are you okay? Is the present okay? You don't like it?” the boy started freaking out when he saw the tears on his boyfriend's cheeks.  
  
“It's perfect. This is the best thing someone ever gave to me.”  
  
“So what's the matter?” Confusion was on the vampire's face.  
  
“This. Everything you do for me and for others. You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”  
  
Simon at first looked at him with raised eyebrow and then he jumped at the blonde, making him lay down on bed with Simon on top of him holding him tight.  
He let go for a second and looked deeply in Jace's eyes. He kissed the Shadowhunter slowly and with passion, no rush.  
  
“Don't you ever again say you're not good enough. You're the best thing that could happen to me. I don't care about anniversaries or dates you miss. I care about you,” he finished.  
  
At that moment Jace felt as happy as he could. He pulled Simon by his shirt closer to him, and started kissing him once more.


End file.
